Making Aliyah After Divorce
Legal and Practical Considerations for Single Parents
Making Aliyah as a divorced or single parent when the other parent is alive and possibly involved presents unique challenges—legal, emotional, financial, and practical. Whether you're considering moving with your children or without them, this decision requires careful navigation of international law, custody arrangements, and your children's best interests.
The Critical Legal Question: Parental Consent
You generally CANNOT take your children on Aliyah without the other parent's consent, unless you have sole legal custody with the explicit right to relocate internationally, or the other parent's rights have been legally terminated.
The Hague Convention on International Child Abduction:
Most Western countries, including Israel, are signatories
Protects children from international parental kidnapping
Taking a child abroad without required consent is illegal
Child can be ordered returned to country of origin
Even with Physical Custody:
Having primary physical custody is NOT enough
Joint legal custody means both parents must consent
Courts treat international relocation differently than domestic moves
When You CAN Make Aliyah with Your Children
Sole Legal and Physical Custody: Court order granting you sole custody with explicit right to relocate
Both Parents Agree: Written, notarized consent specifying permanent relocation to Israel
Other Parent Cannot Be Located: Documented efforts to find them, court approval
Other Parent's Rights Terminated: Due to abuse, neglect, or other serious issues
Getting Consent or Court Approval
If Other Parent Will Consent:
Negotiate agreement openly; address their concerns
Create co-parenting plan for international arrangement
Get written consent notarized; file with court if possible
Israeli authorities need proof of consent, possibly apostilled
If Other Parent Will NOT Consent:
Must petition family court for permission to relocate
Burden of proof on you to show move is in children's best interest
Court considers: relationships with both parents, educational opportunities, impact on other parent's relationship, children's preferences
Court proceedings take months to years; cannot make Aliyah until resolved
Legal representation essential—family law attorney in your jurisdiction
Co-Parenting from Israel: Practical Reality
Visitation Logistics:
Expensive flights ($500–1,500+ per ticket), long travel times
Typical arrangements: extended summer visits (4–8 weeks), winter/spring breaks
Travel costs can reach $5,000–15,000+ annually
Time zone differences (7–10 hours) complicate video calls
Emotional Impact on Children:
Missing other parent intensely; difficult transitions
Jet lag and travel exhaustion; divided loyalty feelings
Protective factors: strong relationships, consistent communication, both parents supporting each other’s relationship
Making It Work:
Regular video calls (daily or several times weekly)
Both parents prioritizing connection; flexibility with schedules
Notarized travel letters for international travel with children
Making Aliyah WITHOUT Your Children
Some parents make Aliyah while their children remain with the other parent. This happens when the other parent has primary custody, both parents agree children should stay, older children choose to stay, or a court determines children stay.
The Emotional Reality:
Profound loss: not seeing children daily, missing milestones
Guilt: questioning the decision, feeling like you abandoned them
Maintaining relationship: daily video calls essential, frequent visits (every 2–3 months if possible)
This decision is deeply personal. It doesn't mean you love your children less. Many scenarios are impossibly difficult, and only you know your full situation.
Financial Considerations
Absorption benefits: same as other immigrants, may receive additional assistance as single parent
Cost of living: Israel is expensive, especially housing; single income supporting family
Travel costs: flights for visitation can be thousands per year
Child support: may continue from other parent; international collection can be complex
Legal costs: attorney fees for custody proceedings can be very expensive
Supporting Your Children Through Aliyah
Maintaining Other Parent Relationship:
Facilitate frequent communication; encourage expression of missing parent
Don't speak negatively about other parent; support visitation enthusiastically
Addressing Their Emotions:
Children will grieve—missing other parent, friends, extended family
May blame you for move; anger, sadness, acting out is normal
Therapy can help; patience and understanding essential
Building New Life:
Help them make friends, get involved in activities, learn Hebrew
Create routines and stability; maintain some familiar traditions
When Aliyah May Not Be Advisable
Legal Red Flags:
Cannot get required consent; court unlikely to approve
Would be violating custody order; other parent actively fighting
Children's Best Interest Concerns:
Children strongly opposed; very close relationship with other parent
Special needs requiring continuity of care; teenagers in critical school years
Your Readiness:
Making decision impulsively after divorce; running away from problems
Not emotionally stable; unrealistic expectations
Consider Waiting:
Until custody is settled, children are older, financial situation is stronger, and emotions have settled after divorce.
Success Factors for Single Parent Aliyah
Legal foundation: proper consent or court approval; documented agreements
Strong support: family or friends in Israel; financial stability
Child-centered approach: children's needs prioritized; open communication
Cooperative co-parenting: both parents working together, putting children first
Personal stability: emotionally ready; clear motivations; commitment to making it work
Getting Help
Legal: family law attorney in current jurisdiction, Israeli immigration attorney, mediator for co-parenting agreements
Emotional: therapist for yourself, child therapist/counselor, divorce and single parent support groups
Practical: Nefesh B’Nefesh single parent coordinators, other single parent immigrants, community organizations
Final Thoughts
Making Aliyah as a divorced or single parent is absolutely possible, and many do it successfully. However, it requires legal compliance (cannot be overstated), realistic assessment of impact on children, adequate financial resources, a strong support system, and commitment to co-parenting from a distance.
Most Important:
Do not move children internationally without proper legal authority to do so. The consequences—for you legally and for your children emotionally—are severe.
If you can make Aliyah with your children legally and it serves their best interests, many single parents successfully build beautiful lives in Israel. Consult attorneys, speak with others who’ve done it, and make your decision from clarity rather than crisis.
